Downhill

It seems like everyone is out of place. No one seems to recognize who they are anymore. Well, I feel that way at least. I've completely become a new person who is isolated and can only a show a cold exterior. After what happened, I am emotionally scarred and can never fully express myself again - except with tears of agony or a grin that shows how content I am. I used to be a girl who had a carefree laugh and an energetic smile. I barely showed how upset I was, for I had self control. I don't necesarilly lack that right now, I think it's more of not having self confidence or esteem.

I don't see the point of James attempting to help me show how I feel about others. He's such a good person, now, I don't even understand why he is my ge ge. He only sees the good in me and makes sure that I am okay with everything; worrying about how I feel and whatnot. Always asking me if I'm alright with this or sad about that. He even makes sure that I go to bed on time.
The funny thing is - he evens know when I lie to him. I guess you can say that guy has good intuition.

It's funny how I tell others to try their hardest and I know that they are capable of suceeding, but when I see myself, I see a pitiful person who only lives to see the next day. I want to be happy again. I haven't been happy since...well...you can say a long time ago. If I didn't befriend her in the first place, then maybe, I could've had a peaceful life.

High school does change people. It either makes you or breaks you.
And at this point, I have been broken.